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Author Topic: Scatterbrains and Firecrabs  (Read 2435 times)

Ruairmli

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Scatterbrains and Firecrabs
« on: July 12, 2015, 03:11:00 AM »
The dreadfully bright mustard robe had been discarded on one of the student desks, the quirky professor dressed almost scruffily, as if he had just wandered out of bed, but the truth was, he'd just had a scrap with a firecrab . His hair was askew and singed, his sleeves rolled up scruffily, and his collar up around his neck rather than down around his tie, which had been undone and was hanging there aimlessly. The professor's hands were placed firmly on his hips, looking up at his chalk board, which was covered in what he could only assume was jibberish, causing his eyebrows to knot in confusion. Pursing his lips and glaring at the words, eyes fixated on the... completely unnecessary drawing of an owl, he called over his shoulder to his assistant, which he'd left on his perch to be his grumpy old self. "Archimedes, have you been interfering with my board?" The hands that once sat comfortably on his hips moved to cross his arms before him as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at the owl, eyebrow quirked up. "I'm sure I had a whole essay on firecrabs up here when I left."

Truth was, what Ruaidrí had actually done, was set the chalk running to write the essay... but as he'd left the room it had gone off track, still trying to run off what he was thinking, which, in turn, had been absolute gibberish. That was his problem - he was often a scatterbrain, and he'd been even more so when handling the firecrab. Picking up the chalk, he eyed it, noticing that it had smashed into pieces once more - like it had been the first time he enchanted chalk to float. "I see you've been attacking my chalk." He muttered, huffing and wandering away from the board, dropping the pieces on the desk before flopping down into his chair, hand massaging his forehead. Ruair was quick to blame the owl, rather than his own enchantments, which often were tampered with whenever he drew his thoughts off course. He tapped his desk with his foot, a draw shooting open, and out he produced a cookie, which he threw down onto his desk, breaking it up into little pieces. "Nice to know you haven't tried to steal my dinner, unlike that blasted gnome we had in last week." He grumbled, taking a small piece and popping it into his mouth.

"I'm thinking we should cover Nifflers next lesson... Third years can't be trusted with fire." Oh what a sieve his brain actually was - the last time they'd had Nifflers, Ruair had placed them in every student's desk for them when they came in, only to find the little blighters had destroyed the contents. "So long as you don't try to eat them, I can't see too much issue. I know it's in your instinct and everything, but you might wanna lay off the rodents a bit - you're getting tubby."
[/font]
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Dénor

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Re: Scatterbrains and Firecrabs
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2015, 09:05:32 PM »
    Hogwarts was a place of joy, intelligence, and above all... mice. Such old places were always filled with mice. And that was all that mattered before the idiot child cursed him with a spell she had found in one of her stupid books. The entire school had deemed him, Archimedes, a magical creature - which was sort of nice, he often supposed - but as a sort of punishment there was nothing worse than being associate teacher to a man who could barely remember the last thing he said! And if he was pretending to be just to get on the Owl's nerves he was doing an excellent job. 
 
     "Archimedes, have you been interfering with my board?" Archimedes turned his large orange eyes towards the board and a smirk formed on his face as he observed the obvious gibberish, and portrait of the owl  that was part of an essay that had been only been a quarter of the way written before it trailed off. Typical. He didn't answer the professor. "I'm sure I had a whole essay on firecrabs up here when I left." The professor picked up the chalk. "I see you've been attacking my chalk again." How quick he was to make accusations. "Nice to know you haven't tried to steal my dinner, unlike that blasted gnome we had in last week.
 
     Archimedes rolled his eyes. That blasted gnome! It had been stress for him that entire week. Could Gnomes eat any more than their own mass? That hadn't been one of the questions, but the answer was obviously 'Yes! Yes they could eat more than their mass!', and it had been unpleasant to witness. Even if not all Gomes at nearly that much. Ruaidri popped a piece of cook in his mouth before continuing to talk about what he was going to do for the third years. Honestly, he didn't care. Well, he did care, but he didn't care that much what he thought third years! If the professor didn't trust third years, then he didn't! Archimedes rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 
 
     "So long as you don't try to eat them, I can't see too much issue. I know it's in your instinct and everything, but you might wanna lay off the rodents a bit - you're getting tubby." Archimedes looked at Rauidiri with a glare. He wasn't too happy with the comment on his weight, when he was one to talk. Standing there stuffing a cooking his mouth and not bothering to share. Not that Chocolate was something he needed. 
 
     "My dear, dear professor." Archimedes said, his tone oozing with sarcasm, "For what reason would I have to attack enchanted chalk if it did not attack me first, hm? I hardly doubt that I would have anything to do with your silly essay that you were writing. Third years are going to be third years, but if you think Nifflers are appropriate, then by all means. But do not accuse me of eating too much while you stuff sugar in your face. I almost wish that Gnome was here to take it from you." His tone changed as he continued talking. His frustration leaking into his words.   

Ruairmli

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Re: Scatterbrains and Firecrabs
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2016, 04:36:10 AM »
“Maybe it offended you. Maybe it wrote 'Archimedes is a prat' upon the board at some time or other and you decided to take your vengeance on it when it least expected it.” He began, stuffing a little more cookie into his mouth as he kicked his legs up onto his desk, pulling a book from the drawer and resting it upon his legs, browns scanning the page as he could feel the death glare of Archimedes upon him. That dratted bird and his ability to make a whole entire room feel uncomfortable, just because he could turn his head damn near 360 degrees just so he could purposefully stare you down. “But I don't know the business of an owl, other than when I am able to tell that he is particularly grumpy for he is being denied cookies, yet again.” He broke off another little bit of cookie, not looking up from his book and holding it out for Archimedes to come and get it from him. He didn't know why he didn't just fly around the room and cause havoc when he was in a grump, but then again, he was somewhat thankful for that temperament. “Here. And hush yourself.” He mumbled, waiting for the bird to take the bit of cookie from him, should he so choose to.

After a few moments he slapped the book shut, dumping it on the table and folding his arms to look at the bird, eyebrows furrowed as he scanned over him. He was known to be a miserable bird at times, but there was always some reason or other, whether it was that he hadn't had his fill that day or that a student had tugged on him. “Whatever has gotten your feathers in a twist today?” He sighed, pulling his legs from the table and resting his chin in his hands, elbows planted firmly on the wood of the desk. “Did a fifth year ask about your previous 'human' life?” He queried, looking for a sign in the small birds body that might insinuate that it was in fact that thing that was bothering him, before pressing further. “Perhaps a first year told you your feathers were greying.” Which was certainly not true, but still, first years had a tendency to say the strangest things for no apparent reason other than to test the professor and his professionalism, but he tended to let Archimedes defend himself, he'd only complain that he was perfectly capable otherwise. “Or maybe, just maybe, Mr Calhoun queried whether or not you had 'eaten all the pies' again.”

Standing up from his desk, he headed over to the blackboard, waving his wand to clear it of the nonsense that had been scribbled there – perhaps they would just have to learn from being told rather than what was on the board – or, rather than being so prepared, he could just have it write down the notes as he taught the lesson. He only ever told them the most important parts after all, it wasn't like he wanted to fill them with the pages of rubbish that books often gave them. No, if they read the entire book from front to back, he was pretty sure they would have more than enough useless information up there that they would no longer have space for anything useful. ”You do know you have me permission to dish out detentions under those circumstances, so why don't you?”
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Dénor

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Re: Scatterbrains and Firecrabs
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2016, 06:35:49 AM »
     “‘’Archimedes is a prat’ indeed!” The enchanted owl scoffed. Sometimes that stupid professor could be an Ass! Like the animal, not the human posterior, though that would have been a close second. The Professor put his feet on the desk and produced a book from one of its drawers. Archimedes’ eyes narrowed to near slits watching the Professor; who found it necessary to prattle on, “But I don’t know the business of an owl, other than when I am able to tell when he is particularly grumpy for *when he is being denied cookies, yet again.” Ruair broke off a piece of cookie and held it out for him to take. And when the owl didn’t seem to snap it up fast enough, the Wizard felt the need to add, “Here. And hush yourself.

Archimedes leaned in and snapped his beak around the crumb, retreating as quickly as possible before Ruair could snap his hand back. With a lack of plate, or other suitable, stationary, flat surface to place the crumb, he was forced to scarf it down - which only took a few seconds but they felt the most humiliating few seconds of his life, though definitely not the first - without so much as a drop of tea to cure the dryness that was sure to follow.

Ruair slapped the book shut, which caused Archimedes to start and he gave a slight hoot, eyes widening with slight surprise before returning to the grumpy state that he always, apparently, kept for the sole pleasure of having a grumpy state of facial expressions. If that made any sense.

The next line of questioning made Archimedes roll his eyes. Although students could be fairly troublesome, they usually didn’t mean any harm with their words. They were purely curious about his ‘human’ life, and sometimes Archimedes would tell them one lie and then they would be all ‘Oh my goodness really! Deepest, Darkest Wizarding Africa!’ and he would say that he had never actually been to Africa, but the story was good and he was thinking of having it published. All of this was usually said with heavy sarcasm.

As for Mr. Calhoun, he had nothing to say on the matter. The teenager was, in his opinion, a mystery that didn’t deserve to be solved. “You do know that you have permission to dish out detentions under those circumstances, so why don’t you?” Archimedes thought on this point with much conviction on his part. Of course he knew that he had permission. Sometimes he did use the privilege, he had sent many second year students to detention for rude comments. Sometimes the office would pass up the chance to discipline the children, but often would wave his requests! It was almost infuriating.

But, there was a reason he didn’t tell Ruair of what happened. Sooner or later, the Professor would find out, but it was nothing super important. The professor had erased the board, and was staring at it thoughtfully. “Perhaps you should have them write down what you say. You spoil them with too many interesting facts already.” Archimedes suggested, shifting his feathers and turning his head to look towards the door to see if anyone was going to be early for the lesson. “And I have sent them to detention. You just haven’t been around to notice it.

Ruair could be so scatterbrained sometimes!

Ruairmli

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Re: Scatterbrains and Firecrabs
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2020, 02:28:43 AM »
The owl had always brought amusement to Ruair’s life, but he had also brought that amusement with an attitude that could be borderline abhorrent, and yet, the Professor didn’t really care that much. The bird may not have liked him all that much, and yet, all the same, Archimedes would not leave the Professor, no matter how often he protested. He watched as his trusty owl took the cookie from hand, scarfing it down quickly and causing a little chuckle from Ruair. Still, he was rather fond of the bird, and as he was certain he had finished his cookie crumbs, he moved to scratch idly at the feathers atop his head.

He knew of Archimedes’ rolling lies that he liked to tell different students in different years, of different adventures and lives that he had led. He was quite the celebrity in the building by this point, with no two students able to agree on his origins. Ruair would often get asked about it, but would hold onto Archimedes’ secrets – they had, after all, been friends for quite some time and it would be against friendship rules to give away game secrets. He put the rest of his cookie on a plate and shoved it idly towards the owl to offer him more for his dinner than the mere crumbs he had been offered. He didn’t like taking the bird to the hall, mainly because at breakfast time the other owls were lunatics, and at dinner time, the students were just as insane.

“I’m thankful to hear it was neither Mr Calhoun nor Miss Duff this time. They have a fondness for teasing you, it would seem.” He sighed, sinking into his chair a little more and rubbing his eyes idly with the palms of his hands. “Perhaps you’re right Archimedes. I think you should take their next lesson on whatever you like. Maybe then I may have a moment to get some shut-eye rather than listening to the incessant chirps of the mooncalf again. He has a greater appetite than you.” With his feet still firmly folded across the corner of his table, he took the book he had once had open and placed it over his eyes from ‘shut-eye’ though, he would not actually take this shut-eye. “How would you feel about Boggarts again?” He muttered, resting his head back so the book would stay, and folding his arms. “I’m sure the brave Archimedes can handle a Boggart lesson. Defense Against the Dark Arts never quite get into the ins and outs of them, only how to beat them.”
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